The title of this blog post is a question that has been on my mind this past week. Despite my age, I have cataracts in both eyes, which is a sort of “side effect” of having Retinitis Pigmentosa.
Well, I had cataracts in both eyes. Recently, I underwent surgery to remove the much more severe cataract in my right eye. Leading up to the procedure, that eye was virtually useless, and I would often close it so I could peer at something with just my left eye. I could only hope and pray that the removal of the cataract would result in drastic improvement of my vision. I prayed a lot.
Since writing on paper has become too difficult for me, I keep a virtual prayer journal on my phone. I started writing down my prayers a few months ago, as I desired a deeper relationship with God. For the entire month before my cataract surgery, I prayed for not just some improvement, but a dramatic improvement. I have read—or listened, rather—to books that said that the way to truly honor God is to pray boldly. So I did, and it was definitely a leap of faith.
I have been told my whole life that I will never have 20/20 vision, regardless of any type of corrective lenses. As much as I wanted to believe that the cataract surgery would help me and my sight, I still found myself obsessively Googling articles on how cataract surgery improved vision in patients with Retinitis Pigmentosa. I wanted hard evidence.
I’d like to say that I was cautiously optimistic, but perhaps I was more of a skeptic. And though I prayed for drastic visual improvement every night before going to bed for a month, I had my doubts.
But here I am, writing all this about ten days after my cataract surgery, and my vision has certainly improved. As more light is able to enter my eye, the world seems brighter and crisper. There is more clarity and contrast between colors, and I have also noticed that my left eye is not as good as I thought it was.
My future is less blurry too. Before the surgery, it was hard for me to imagine how I would be able to achieve the goals I have set for myself. Now, those same goals, dreams, and aspirations have an easier time coming into focus.
But…do “little” miracles exist?
I return to my original question, the title and point of this post. Is there such a thing as a “little” miracle? I’d say no. I think there are just miracles.
Though the vision in my right eye has radically improved, I still don’t have 20/20 vision. That does not negate what sight I do have, or diminish the joy I feel at being less encumbered by limited sight. It is just a fact of my situation.
I absolutely do have joy, even in the face of the challenges that remain. Yes, my vision is nowhere near perfect, or even what is considered “good.” And yet, experiencing improvement and seeing a shred of restoration takes some of the burden off my shoulders. It also gives me a sense of hope for the present and for the future that maybe one day, between medical advancements and God’s divine hand, my vision could improve in ways that had previously only been possible in my dreams.